


Shut Up, Mikey

by StormVandal



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-14
Updated: 2012-06-11
Packaged: 2017-11-05 08:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormVandal/pseuds/StormVandal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank likes Gerard, Mikey has mind powers (according to Frank, anyway), and the school bully has gotten ahold of Frank's diary. This should end well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

_Why the hell did I leave early for school, again?_ I wonder, making my way nervously down the side alley that is part of my route. I always walk this way with Gerard and Mikey, but now, alone, I can’t help but feel like there’s something big and bad waiting to jump out at me from any and every shadow. Like, a fucking axe murderer or some other scary shit like that. Not to mention, I have the feeling that there are spiders EVERYWHERE in the damn alley. I strongly dislike this feeling. I take a deep breath and let it out quickly. _Don’t think about spiders. Just get through this fucking alleyway and get to school, Iero._

I speed up a little. So much for leaving early to have some alone time to think about... stuff. All I’ve managed to think about so far is “Oh god, dad’s going to kill me if he finds out about this” and things along the lines of “HOLY SHIT SOMETHING JUST MOVED BEHIND THAT DUMPSTER.”

So I’m walking along, freaking out because I’m pretty sure fucking Jason or someone’s about to jump out from behind the smelly dumpster beside me and chop off my head or something. Freaking out so much, in fact, that I don’t even notice the two lacrosse thugs blocking my path until the bigger one, Zach, says loudly, “Hey! Shrimp!”

I freeze.

_Oh shit. No. Not again._

I start to back up slowly. They roll their eyes at my pathetic attempt to escape. Frantic, I turn and try to run, but the other guy, Matt, smaller than Zach but still bigger than me, grabs my bag, which rips at the seam, spilling its contents everywhere. I let out a small yelp and scramble for the small black book lying amongst my textbooks. I’m not fast enough. Matt grabs it and hands it to Zach, who opens it as I make panicked but ineffective efforts to stop him. The second he sees the first page, he bursts out laughing. I cringe slightly.

“A diary?!” he says loudly. “You keep a fucking diary?! What are you, a twelve year old girl?!” He flips through it. I lunge for it but Matt grabs me.

“'Last night my mom and I had a fight.' Boo-hoo, poor midget, he and his mommy had a fight!” He sneers. I want to rip him to shreds. I grit my teeth and tug against Matt’s grip. I might not be able to rip Zach apart, but I need to stop him from reading much more.

He flips forward a few pages, to the most recent entries, the ones from last month. “'Dad came for a visit yesterday and he and mom were already screaming at each other after fifteen minutes.'” He chuckles and goes to turn the page, and that’s when I lose it a bit. I don’t go apeshit on him or anything cool like that. Instead I do something that kind of makes me want to punch myself in the face- I start to beg.

“Stop it. Please, just give it back. I’ll do anything.” 

Zach looks up and cocks an eyebrow. “Something in here you don’t want me to see, freak?” 

I stay silent, but I guess my face is enough of a confirmation for him.

He turns the page. I cry out despite my best efforts not to.

As he reads, his face lights up with a sort of cruel delight. “Well, well, well...” he says slowly.

My life is fucking over. 

He leans in a bit, grinning. “Gerard’s the fatass, right?”

“Don’t talk about Gerard like that.”

“Ooh, you don’t like me calling him a FATASS?!”

“Shut the fuck up.”

His grin falls off his face. “What?” he says dangerously.

“I told you to shut the fuck up.”

Now he’s glaring at me. “Say that one more time, faggot. I fucking dare you.” 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT GERARD.” I’m really pissed off by now, and don’t even stop to think about why I maybe shouldn’t have said that.

He punches me in the face.

I stumble backwards a few steps, trip, and fall, hitting my head on one of the textbooks lying scattered around. Matt finds this hysterical. As he laughs, Zach rips the page he was just reading out of my notebook.

“I can think of some interesting uses for this,” he smirks, shoving it into his pocket. I whimper involuntarily. I have NEVER felt more pathetic, lying on the ground at a bully’s feet, fucking _whimpering_.

“Pussy,” Matt says, speaking for the first time since they confronted me. Before I can get out of the way, he kicks me. His foot connects with my gut, hard, and I’m instantly winded. 

“See you at school, faggot,” Zach says. He turns and walks out of the alley. Matt sacks me as a parting present and follows him.

Everything hurts. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I’m dizzy and my head is throbbing. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I lie there blankly for maybe two minutes before I hear voices from the far end of the alleyway. _Oh great_ , I think, they’re coming back for more.

“Will you get your nose out of that book?! I’m trying to talk to you. It’s important.”

Wait. That’s Mikey. And if that’s Mikey, then...

Shit. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not here. Not now. I cannot do this right now. 

“Fine. Don’t listen to me. Motherfucker.” One set of footsteps quickens.

I look around frantically. From what I can tell, I’m half hidden to Mikey by this dumpster. I try to move over a bit so maybe he won’t see me, but I can’t. It hurts too much.

“Wait, what the hell?” Mikey mutters. The footsteps quicken even more. Shit. He’s seen me.

Within a few seconds he’s standing over me. “Frankie?” he says, alarm registering on his face. “What happened?”

“Zach happened.”

“Jesus Christ, what did he do?” Mikey crouches down next to me.

“Well, Matt winded me and then sacked me.”

“Shit.”

“And Zach punched me in the face personally.” I groan a little as I shift myself around so I can see Mikey properly.

“Wait. He did?” He asks, frowning. “Why?”

I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling myself flush a bit. “I told him to shut the fuck up about Gerard.”

“You told _Zach_ to shut up?!”

“Yup.”

“Are you fucking insane?!”

“Probably.” 

I open my eyes to see Mikey staring at me with an agitated look on his face. And then he yells “Gerard!”

My stomach lurches. 

“What the fuck, Mikey?!” I hiss.

“Look, _Michael_ , I’m NOT discussing this with you, okay?!” Gerard shouts back. “So can you please just stop bringing it up?”

“Get your ass over here.”

“Why, so you can interrogate me?”

“No, you fucker. So that you can help out Frankie, who’s just had the shit beaten out of him by Zach and Co.”

“What?” Gerard says. His footsteps get gradually faster until it sounds like he’s running, which he probably is.

“It’s gonna be ok,” Mikey says to me. 

“No it’s not,” I mumble. There’s a lump developing in my throat. Wonderful. Just fucking fantastic.

Gerard drops down beside Mikey.”Hey,” he says. His voice is gentle. Oh jeez. “What happened?”

I can’t even talk. If I open my mouth, then...

“Can you sit up?”

I try and fail.

“Here,” he says, helping me into a sitting position.

And that’s when I start to cry.

“S-sorry, I just-” I choke out.

“I’ll get your stuff together,” Mikey says, getting up.  
I’m half pissed off at him and half relieved.

“Hey,” Gerard says quietly. “Do you need a hug?”

_Oh shit. Oh shit. Please, please no. Don’t-_

I nod miserably. I can’t help it. 

So he hugs me, and I sit there, crying into his shoulder, feeling even more pathetic than I already did, but at the same time I can’t help thinking, _Maybe getting beat up was worth it. For this._

And then I remember. Zach knows. Which means that soon, everyone will. Including Gerard. 

“Guys...” says Mikey. “We’re going to be late for school if we don’t get going.”

Gerard lets go of me and I reluctantly take my head off his shoulder. I’ve stopped crying by now, but I don’t particularly want to move.

“Mikey’s right. We should get going,” he says, standing. “Can you get up?”

I look up wildly. “Don’t make me go to school,” I say, sounding highly panicky.

He makes a sympathetic face at me. “If you don’t go to school, the principal will call your mom.”

He has a point. Shit.

“Don’t worry. Ray and I’ll keep those guys away from you, okay?”

“Um... how exactly?” asks Mikey.

“Shut up, _Michael_. We’ll figure something out. Frankie? Can you stand up?”

“Maybe,” I say, grimacing. I grope for the lip of the dumpster. Gerard rolls his eyes and offers his hands. I stare at them stupidly for a second before taking them. He hauls me to my feet.

“Ow.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault,” I say.

_Wow, we’re standing really close together and, um, if I breathe right now, I’m kind of going to be breathing RIGHT on him... uh... well then...uh... Jesus, he has nice eyes. They’re pretty. They’re hazel-y. I didn’t know his eyes were hazel-y and nice. Really nice. Um. Wow. I should move, really, I should, Gerard’s not... Gerard doesn’t... but HE’S not moving. So why should I? Okay, so, that was a stupid thought, it’s because... anyway, after today I’m probably never going to get within three feet of him again, so I should enjoy this while I can, right? Right? Wait, what the fuck is Mikey doing? Is he imitating a kangaroo? A jacked-up kangaroo. Ha. That would be funny. But seriously. Wait. Is he looking at me? Is he jumping around like a fucking jacked-up kangaroo trying to get my attention or has he just lost it? Oh wait, no, he’s mouthing my name. And gesturing. What the fuck? Hands? What about h- OH SHIT._

I jump backwards, letting go of Gerard’s hands, which I hadn’t realized I’d been holding on to that whole time. He’s got a really weird look on his face, and he seems bemused.

“Sorry,” I say frantically. My face is burning. “Sorry, I’m really sorry. I didn’t- I- I’m sorry.”

“Did you hit your head?” he asks lightly.

“Y-yeah, actually.”

“I can tell. You’re all dazed and confused.”

I nod numbly. Yeah, I’m dazed and confused all right. It’s just not because I hit my head.

“Sorry,” I say again, weakly.

“It’s okay, don’t sweat it,” he says, chuckling.

There’s an awkward silence before Mikey steps forward. 

“Guys, we really need to go,” he says. “Frank, can you walk?”

“What?” Gerard frowns. “Why wouldn’t he be able to walk?’

“They sacked him.”

He winces. “Oh.”

“I think I can. I’ll look ridiculous, but...” I laugh ruefully.

Gerard grins, claps me on the back and walks toward the end of the alleyway. Mikey turns to me and raises his eyebrows. I cringe and go red again. 

I take a few steps and think I’m going to fall over. The idea of walking fifteen minutes to school is horrifying.

“We could get Gerard to carry you,” Mikey says.

“Fuck you.”

We walk in silence for a couple of blocks before we see a very familiar head of hair ahead of us. There is no mistaking Ray, even from this distance. Gerard grins and runs to catch up to him. I can’t help but sigh with relief.

“You told him to shut the fuck up about Gerard?” Mikey asks suddenly.

I look up, surprised. “Yeah. I told you that already.”

“Well, what did they say about him?”

“They called him a fatass.”

“And you told them to shut the fuck up.”

“Yup.”

“And they punched you in the face.”

“Yup.”

Mikey sighs. “You overprotective idiot.”

“Shut up.”

“But how did Gerard get brought into it anyway?”

“Oh,” I say uncomfortably. “Um.”

“They read your notebook, didn’t they?”

Fuck. Mikey has goddamn mind powers or some shit. HE’S READING MY FUCKING MIND. Or something. He just looked at me and knew what’s going on. HE’S LOOKING INTO MY SOUL. That’s fucking creepy.

“Um,” I say, very intelligently.

“Calm down, I found it on the ground when I was picking up your stuff.”

“Oh.” HE FUCKING DID IT AGAIN.

“So they know?”

“Mm.”

“Which means the entire school will know by the end of the week.”

I glare at him. “Thanks for that, _Michael_.”

He rolls his eyes. “What’s with everyone calling me Michael today? It’s not like it bugs me or anything.”

“Whatever,” I say. I shove my hands into my jacket pockets and walk as fast as I can.


	2. Shut Up, Mikey- Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank likes Gerard, and Mikey knows. And so does the school bully... this should turn out well.

We arrive at school on time. Mikey and Ray say goodbye and go to the right, to their lockers. Gerard’s and my lockers are in the opposite direction from theirs. I’m not really sure what to do here, because walking with him to our lockers would be awkward, but not walking with him would probably elicit some questions from him that I wouldn’t quite be able to answer. I stand there indescisively. 

“Hey, Frank,” Gerard says. “Walk with me.”

Well, that settles that. I can’t exactly refuse.

“How are you feeling?” he asks as we head down the hallway.

“Like shit,” I answer truthfully.

“That sucks, man. You’re being good about this though. I haven’t heard a single complaint yet.”

“Yeah, well. It’s not like it’s never happened before.” _And I’m expecting worse things to happen today, too._

Suddenly, someone shoves Gerard to the side from behind. Matt.

“Out of my way, fatass!” he says loudly, laughing. He glances at me and smirks before he strides down the hallway and out of sight.

I look over at Gerard, who is biting his lip and tugging at his shirt, and I frown.

For a second, I forget about being embarrassed about what happened earlier. “Hey,” I say. He looks over at me. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” he says, but I know he’s lying, because he’s far too quiet and won’t look me in the face. He continues tugging at his shirt, like he’s trying to hide non-existent flab.

I want to grab his hands away and tell him that he looks perfect, that he _is_ perfect. Instead, I say, “You’re not a fatass, Gerard.”

He shrugs.

“Gee, I’m serious. You’re not a fatass. So maybe you used to be a bit chubby. I don’t care. Mikey doesn’t care. And Ray doesn’t care. Even if you were still, it wouldn’t matter. OK?”

“Whatever,” he mutters.

“Not whatever,” I mutter back.

“What?” 

“Nothing.”

And then I go right back to being embarrassed. And also a little nervous. Matt had smirked at me. Considering he’d beaten me up earlier, it seemed like... not enough acknowledgement, in a weird way. Like he couldn’t be bothered to bother me. 

*

I catch up to Mikey after homeroom. To my annoyance, the looks and whispers have already begun. Mikey looks completely apathetic, as usual. It’s kind of irritating. Everything is irritating right now. That blonde chick flirting with a lacrosse player is irritating. That homework on the ground is irritating. That locker over there is irritating. 

I want to punch something.

And this is all before another one of the lacrosse guys comes along, turns to Mikey and says, “Hey! Freak Jr.! How do you feel about the fact that you friend here-” He points at me. “-Is a fag?”

Mikey looks straight at him with no facial expression. “Fuck off,” he says in a monotone.  
And the lacrosse player does.

“Mike _yyyy_ ,” I moan. “I can’t do this. I’m leaving. I’m going home. I can’t stand this for the rest of the day. I can’t stand for this for another five minutes, let alone the rest of the day.”

“Not to mention, by the end of the day Gerard will know all about this,” Mikey says, still emotionless.

“Shut the fuck up, Mikey,” I say roughly. Hurt registers on his face.

I sigh. “Sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean-“

“It’s okay,” he says, even though it’s clearly not. 

I feel so bad. “Hey,” I say. “Um. Thanks.”

He raises his eyebrows. “For what?”

“For not freaking out.”

He looks at me blankly.

“When you read that diary entry, for lack of a better phrase. You didn’t freak out.”

A devilish grin slowly spreads across his face. “Who says I didn’t freak out? He’s my brother. How do you know I didn’t freak out while reading _shit, shit, shit, oh my god, I think I love Gee and I don’t know what the fuck to do and GOD, I just... I really need him. Now.”_

I shove him, partly playful and partly pissed off. He stumbles sideways, laughing.

“But you didn’t freak out at me,” I maintain.

“True. I’m kidding, anyway. I kind of already knew.”

I gape at him. “WHAT.”

SEE I WAS RIGHT HE HAS FUCKING MIND POWERS.

“Well, that’s just fucking peachy,” I grumble.

“Just kind of. I had a vague idea. Don’t worry, I know for a fact that Gee and Ray don’t know.”

“Yeah, well, they will soon, won’t they,” I mumble, sliding right back into my bad mood.

Mikey shrugs. “Yeah, well, what can you do, right?”

“I could run away and join a monastery.”

“I’m sure the monks would love that,” he says, smirking. “I’m sure they need a resident lunatic.”

“Shut up,” I say miserably.

And Mikey does.


	3. Chapter 3

_Alright, Iero. You can do this. Just act normal. Be happy Frankie. Crazy Frankie. Hyper Frankie. Frank the lunatic._ I think as I push open the doors to the cafeteria. By what I usually consider a miracle, Mikey, Gerard, Ray and I all have the same lunch period, which I usually spend bugging everybody while Mikey and Ray play hangman and Gerard draws. 

With _act normal... happy... crazy... hyper..._ running through my head, I go dashing up to the others, who are sitting around our usual table. I throw myself into an empty chair. Ray rolls his eyes without looking up from his notebook, where Mikey has scrawled a multi-word hangman.

“Hi Frankie,” he sighs.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Mikey asks, smirking because Ray only has one limb left to go on the little stick figure and there are still six blanks.

I pull a face. “Mikey, they’re serving _Sloppy Joes_. As in, beef. Or baboon butt, more likely. This place is a bit... questionable. And not exactly vegetarian friendly.”

All three of them look at me. “ _Baboon butt?_ ” they all say in unison.

“Yup. You’re all eating baboon butt.”

Ray looks at his food suspiciously.

“You could get fries or something,” says Mikey.

“Those are probably cooked in whale blubber.”

He snorts, rolling his eyes. “Fine. Starve. See if I care.”

I raise my eyebrows at him. “ _Ru_ -ude.”

“Well, if you’re going to refuse to eat cafeteria food then why didn’t you bring a lunch?” Mikey persists.

“I did. It got smushed. Why do you care so much?”

Mikey shrugs. “Cause normally you eat like a pig.”

I scowl and throw one of Ray’s carrots at him.

“Hey. Frankie,” Gerard says. He slides his sketchbook towards me. It’s the red one. The one he lets me look at. He has another one that’s black, but he refuses to let me see a single drawing from it, even when I give him puppy dog eyes and beg and bribe him.

I take a look at the cartoon he’s drawn and laugh. “You’re good,” I say admiringly.

“Not really, but thanks,” he says, taking it back and studying it.

It’s when he says stuff like that that I kind of want to grab him by the shoulders and pour my heart out at him in the hopes that that would make him realize how amazing he is. But I never do. I somehow stay quiet every time. 

*

The rest of the day is hell. Pure hell. I quickly lose count of the number of comments, taunts and insults thrown at me. By the end of the day I’m exhausted. It’s honestly tiring dealing with this shit. 

On the bright side, Mikey disappears for a while right before last period and comes back reporting that Gerard still doesn’t know what’s going on.

“How is that even fucking possible?” I ask in amazement.

He shrugs. “Well, people don’t talk to Gerard.”

“Yeah, but Mikey, people don’t talk to me either. Doesn’t stop them from shouting shit at me.”

“Well, he did ask me why so many people are looking at him funny and laughing.”

“Fuck.”

“I told him I wasn’t sure.”

I sigh heavily. “Thanks,” I say. Mikey may be postponing the inevitable or whatever, but I really want the inevitable postponed as long as possible.

After the final bell rings, I grab my stuff from my locker and head out as quickly as possible, hampered a bit by the massive crush of people attempting to do the same. It’s a bit fortunate though, really, because I’m so small that in the crowd, people don’t notice me. It’s almost relaxing today, although usually it drives me fucking nuts because it means I get jostled a lot. 

But when I finally get out into the courtyard and split away from the pack of people, it all starts again. This one kid throws rocks at me, causing me to back into a corner. Which is stupid of me. If it had been one of the lacrosse guys, like Zach or Matt, then they would have beaten me up again because I’d have had no escape route. Luckily, this kid backs off, laughing and I sink to the ground, leaning against the wall with my knees up to my chest and my arms over my head a bit. 

For once, I’m trying to be invisible.

 

It works for a while. Then, from above me, a familiar voice says, “Frankie? What’s wrong?”

_Oh shit. No. Gerard, go away. Please._

He sits down beside me. “Were they giving you shit?”

I nod slightly, not looking at him. _Go away, go away, go away, go away, go away...._

There is a silence, and then, suddenly, out of fucking nowhere, Gerard wraps his arms around me. I put my head on his shoulder. I don’t mean to. But I can’t help it, never can.

“I’m getting lots of hugs today,” I say with the best joking tone I can muster.

“Yeah, well, it seems like you need a lot of hugs today.”

He starts to rub small circles into my back with his thumb. I shiver, wishing he weren’t so fucking nice, so fucking affectionate, god damn it. 

“I just wish I could make them stop,” he murmurs, pulling me closer, like he’s trying to shield me. 

_Fuck._

I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting the urge to do something stupid. I should move, I find myself thinking for the second time that day. Except this time, it’s more for my sake than his, because if I don’t move, I am going to fucking lose it.

Then Gerard elbows me in the ribs, effectively snapping me out of thoughts of grabbing him and kissing him passionately. 

I open my eyes, look up, and freeze.

“Well, isn’t this romantic?” sneers Zach.

I scramble to my feet. Gerard gets up too, stepping in front of me. 

“Leave him alone,” he says angrily. “You’ve done enough damage today.”

“Sure. I’ll just leave you two lovebirds alone,” he says smugly.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Gerard growls.

“You don’t know?” Zach crows.

He pulls the crumpled page from my notebook out of his pocket and hands it to Gerard.

I stand there, horrified, as Gerard uncrumples it. I open my mouth to tell him not to read it, but no words come out. I helplessly watch as his eyes scan the page.

He looks up at Zach. “You’re telling me Frank wrote this?” he asks evenly.

“Well, duh.”

He looks back down at the page. “This isn’t even his handwriting.”

I almost let out a sigh of relief. Thank god my handwriting looks different when I’m upset.

“Look at the handwriting on the back,” Zach instructs him.

He obeys for some reason. “Okay, so, that’s Frank’s handwriting. But you could have taken this and then written the other thing.”

“No I couldn’t have.”

“Why not?”

“It’s all written in the same ink.”

Oh fuck.

Gerard looks at me. “Frank?” he asks calmly, like he’s waiting for my side of the story.

There are a million excuses I could give him, but my mouth doesn’t work and my thoughts won’t collect themselves and so instead I run.


	4. Chapter 4

**Four days later**  
I dash into school ten minutes late on Friday morning. My alarm clock hadn’t gone off and I’d slept in like crazy. I’m lucky to only be ten minutes late, but now I’m hungry, because I skipped breakfast, and I’m going to have to buy food from the cafeteria for lunch because I didn’t have time to make one. And also I’ve got detention. 

Detention at my school is honestly just stupid. They don’t even assign a teacher to be in the room. You can’t usually get away with skipping detention altogether, because they check on you at the start of the time and they come to dismiss you, but you can basically do whatever the fuck you want with the time. 

So I figure, whatever. I can just sleep or something,

I figure that, up until I walk into the detention room. And see Mikey and Ray sitting there.

“Hey Frank,” Ray says, looking a bit pissed off. Well, he would be, seeing as I’ve missed every band practice this week and we have a gig coming up. I feel a little guilty when I remember that, but it’s not like I haven’t been practicing. Still... I shift uneasily.

“Hi,” I mumble.

“Look,” Ray says, a little less angry sounding this time. “I know something’s up. I’m not entirely sure what. But if it’s keeping you away from band practice... we’re your friends, man. You need us. We need you. We sound like shit without you, and frankly, band practices aren’t as much fun when you’re not there. Lunch isn’t either. Just... do you need help dealing with... whatever problem you’re having? I can help. We can help.”

I look at him, a little stunned by his spontaneous proclamation of support. “Thank you,” I say. I kind of want to run over and give him a big hug, but I don’t. Ray doesn’t really go for that sort of stuff most of the time.

Mikey clears his throat. “Uh.. Frank,” he says. “I think I should let you know that-”

The door bursts open. 

“Am I late?” Gerard asks, slightly out of breath as he dashes into the room.

“-Gerard has detention, too,” Mikey finishes lamely.

_Yeah, I can see that, thank you very much, Mikey._

Gerard sees me and stops in his tracks, narrowing his eyes. “Oh hey, it’s the disappearing act,” he says sarcastically. “Long time, no see.”

“Yeah,” I say uncomfortably, running a hand through my hair.

There is a split second of silence and then-

“What the _fuck_ Frank?” he shouts. “What the fuck? Four fucking _days_. _Four fucking days_ and you... you took different routes in the hallways, you... skipped band practice! You skipped lunch! You fucking _put your stuff in Mikey’s locker_! What the _fuck?!_ ”

I shrug, looking away.

“Gerard,” Mikey says warningly.

Gerard ignores him.

“Four. Fucking. Days,” he says, almost disbelievingly. “Over a fucking bullshit rumour?! Are you fucking kidding me?”

 _A fucking bullshit rumour_ , I think. For some reason, I can feel myself getting angry. Which is weird. Because, you know, it’s great that he believes that. Right? _God damn it, brain, just let him keep believing that._

“Gerard!” Mikey says again, sharply this time. Like he’s willing him to stop talking. Like he can stop this happening.

“Fuck off, Mikey!” he yells. “God, just... Frank, it’s not like I _believed_ them. I know it’s bullshit. What they’re saying is completely ridiculous. And I can’t _believe_ you thought I’d care. Why would I give a fuck? Besides, like I said, it’s ridiculous.”

I should be agreeing to this. But his words are like a slap to the face. _Bullshit. Completely ridiculous. Why would I give a fuck? Like I said..._

I will my brain to stop with the angry repetition of Gerard’s words and think of something useful for me to say to make this whole thing just go away. It does not oblige.

Sometimes I think my brain and I aren’t related to each other, but then I realize that doesn’t make any sense.

“I mean... right?” Gerard says, seeming disconcerted by the long silence.

“Frank?” Mikey says, stepping towards me. “Frank, I think you should-”

“No,” I say through gritted teeth. My head is pounding.

“Should what?” Gerard asks.

Mikey ducks his head, looks me in the eye and says quietly, “I think you should tell him.”

“Tell me what?” He moves closer to us, narrowing his eyes.

Mikey is silent. 

Gerard forces a laugh. “You’re not saying it’s true are you?” he says like that’s the dumbest thing he’s heard all day.

_Oh, great going Mikey. Just fucking great._

“Frank, I’m serious, you should-”

I can’t take it anymore. 

“FINE,” I shout, throwing my hands up in frustration. “Fine! Hey Gerard! Guess what? Those rumours _aren’t fucking made up_.”

His eyes widen. “What are you saying?” he asks slowly.

“Oh, come _on_. You know exactly what I’m saying.”

He stares at me blankly.

“Fine. I love you. That’s what I’m saying.”

His jaw drops. “What?” he asks weakly.

I turn to Mikey. “There. I ruined everything. Happy?”

I storm out, brushing past a stunned-looking Ray. As I slam the door behind me, I can clearly hear Gerard yell, “Mikey! You knew about this?!” I grimace and keep walking.

I walk right out of the building and intend to keep going, even though I’ve left all my stuff in the detention room. But before I can get even halfway across the courtyard, someone grabs my arm and says “Hey! Midget!”

Normally at that point, I would have frozen. Now, however, I turn and say roughly, “What the fuck do you want, Zach?”

He raises his eyebrows. “Ooh, someone’s touchy.”

I roll my eyes. He looks a bit shocked, probably because I’m not cowering at his feet yet.

He makes one more attempt. “Is the poor midget heartbroken because the fatass doesn’t love him?”

I punch him in the face. He yelps, which I find highly satisfactory.

“Leave me the fuck alone,” I say, and he _actually listens_. He runs for it.

I stand there for a second, vaguely amazed and very relieved. Then I go over to the nearest bench and flop down, suddenly feeling drained. I’ve gone from being incredibly angry to feeling like I might cry. I bury my face in my hands and wonder if it’ll be possible for me to find new friends or if I’m going to have to go through the remaining two years of high school without any.

I can hear footsteps across the courtyard. I think nothing of them until they stop in front of me. I figure it’s probably Mikey coming to talk to me, so I sigh and look up.

“Hi,” Gerard says tentatively. “I brought your stuff.” He sets my backpack down at my feet.

I’m tempted to re-bury my face, but that would not make the situation any better and it would look really stupid, so I settle for ignoring him.

“Mikey said I should come talk to you,” he says, sounding nervous. “He said I should tell you the truth.”

“Oh, great,” I say sarcastically.

He fidgets around a bit. “He said that if I told you the truth we could maybe work this out.”

“Newsflash, Gerard,” I say. “There’s nothing to work out here, despite what your brother says, okay? Speaking of which, are you doing anything right now independently of what Mikey’s told you to do?”

“Um...”

“Okay, I’m going to take that as a no then.” Annoyed, I go back to ignoring him.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see him rummaging through his backpack. He pulls something out and says, “He didn’t tell me to give you this.”

He holds it out towards me. I resolutely ignore him, despite the fact that I desperately want to know what it is.

He stands there like that for a minute before huffing impatiently. “Fine,” he says. “Whatever.” He tosses whatever it is onto the bench beside me, turns, and walks away.  
When I’m sure that he’s gone, I look left, look right, and grab for what turns out to be the black sketchbook.

My immediate reaction is _what the fuck?_ Half of me is still annoyed and wondering how a sketchbook is supposed to “fix” anything. The other half is incessantly curious, because after all, I’ve been begging and pleading to see this for like a month and a half.

I’m dying to look at it either way, but I have a feeling that I shouldn’t look at it here, mostly because, y’know, I just punched Zach in the face, so there’s a relatively strong likelihood that he’ll gather a posse and come back to get revenge. So I grab my backpack, sling it over my shoulder and start walking as fast as I can. Before too long I break into a run.


	5. Chapter 5

Once I’ve caught my breath, I flop down on my bed and, finally, flip open the sketchbook. My eyes settle on the first image and my mouth drops open, my eyes widening as I say out loud the first thing that pops into my head: “What. The. Fuck.”

That’s me. 

What the fuck. That’s _me_. The first drawing in Gerard’s black sketchbook is a drawing of me. 

I turn the page. 

That’s also me. And so is the next one and so is the one after that and the one after that...

I turn the pages feverishly. They’re _all me_. Various poses, various types of eyeliner, various outfits, all me.

What the actual _fuck?_

And then, on the last page, there’s a note. I read it through once, twice, three times, my eyes widening a bit more each time until they’re practically popping out of their sockets. I stare at the page, the words going in and out of focus, my breathing quick and shallow.

_“ ~~OK, so, this is really creepy, right?~~_

_~~I’m not sure why, but every time I see you I just God Gerard, that’s fucking cheesy~~ _

_~~Okay, so I kinda sorta maybe~~ _

_FUCK THIS_

_I really like you, okay?_

_There. I said it._

_Well, no I didn’t. I wrote it. I’ve never actually said it out loud._

_God, I’m pathetic. Here I am, completely in love with you, and instead of telling you, I draw pictures of you and write you letters you’re probably never going to read. Great, right?_

_Sometimes I have these insane moments where I want to come right out and tell you. But I don’t. I can’t. The one time I got anywhere close to actually saying it, I froze up._

_Because telling you would probably ruin everything. And if I ruined everything with you then my life would suck. Really bad. Seriously. You’re one of the best things in my life, and I’m not going to risk ruining our friendship because you have beautiful eyes and an amazing laugh and the best sense of humour and guitar player’s hands and the skill to go with them and I want to kiss you._

_I just can’t lose you, that’s all._

_And that’s why I can never do anything about this, ever. I can draw you, but that’s it. Because I can’t fuck this up like I fuck up half the shit in my life._

_Because I love you.”_

After a moment, I place the sketchbook on my bed with trembling hands. There’s no _way_ this is real. No fucking way. I squeeze my eyes shut and pinch myself. The sketchbook is still in front of me when I open my eyes again. 

I sit there for another second trying to think. When that attempt fails, I vault off my bed, run out of my room and practically fall down the stairs, sketchbook in hand.

I run all the way to the Way house (ha ha ha), despite my skinny jeans. I plan to catch my breath and then knock, but before I can do either, the door swings open.

“Did you just _run_ here?” Mikey asks, raising his eyebrows and smirking at the sight of me practically doubled over, panting for breath with my hands on my knees. “In _skinnies?_ ”

“Shut up, Mikey.”

He lets me get my breath back without making any more remarks, but when I stand up straight he does his fucking creepy mind-reading soul-scanning thing and says “He didn’t mean it, you know.”

My heart falls. Actually, that’s a massive understatement. It plummets a million feet from a plane without a parachute. I try to convince myself that I had known that, that it had obviously been too good to be true. I fail.

“Oh,” I say miserably. I try to keep a straight face the way Mikey always does. It doesn’t work. Mikey looks highly confused for some reason. Like he doesn’t know what I’m looking so upset about.

On the bright side, he’s probably just saved me from complete and total mortification.

“Well,” I say, at a loss for words. “Uh. Can you just... give this back to Gerard for me, maybe?” I hold the sketchbook out.

He stares, his eyes widening behind his glasses. He looks stunned. Now _I’m_ confused.

He looks up at me. “I didn’t know he gave you that!”

My eyes widen too. In any other circumstance I would have burst out laughing because we’re staring wide-eyed at each other like a couple of fucking owls, but just now I’m too busy wanting to skip with joy because _he hadn’t been talking about the note in the sketchbook._

“That’s not what I was talking about,” he says as though confirming my thoughts. Fucking mind reader.

“Wait...” I say slowly as I suddenly realize something. “You knew about this? The sketchbook?”

“Uh, yeah.”

I glare and swat his arm. “You motherfucker! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Wasn’t my thing to tell,” he says.

I pull a face at him, sticking out my tongue. He rolls his eyes.

“Anyway, I meant about what he said in detention.”

I frown. I’d forgotten about that.

“He didn’t mean for that to sound the way it did,” he says. “He just- you know Gerard.”

“Duh.” I roll my eyes.

“I mean, you know he has fucked up self-esteem. So he hears that you like him and he goes, ‘No way. That’s crazy. Why the hell would anyone like me?’ y’know? Like, he didn’t mean it would be ridiculous if you liked him... well, he did, but like, not in that way so-”

“Jeez, Mikey, calm down,” I say, half-smiling. “I get it.”

He grins sheepishly before an evil look crosses his face. “Coming in?” he asks. “I mean, I’m sure you _urgently_ need to get that sketchbook back to my _dear_ older brother.”

My heart feels like it’s about to jump right out of my chest. “Can’t you just give it back to him for me?” I ask weakly.

He looks into my eyes and says calmly, “You’re being a pussy.”

“Shut up, Mikey.”

I follow him up the stairs, starting to feel a bit panicky. Mikey keeps flashing me evil grins. The little fucker’s having the time of his life. 

“God, Frank, you’re hyperventilating!”

“I am not fucking hyperventilating! Shut up, Mikey!”

We reach the second floor and Mikey disappears into his bedroom after giving me an “encouraging” thumbs up. I stand outside Gerard’s door for a really, really long time trying to work up the courage to go in. I stand there for so long, in fact, that Mikey pokes his head back out of his room, rolls his eyes when he sees me still standing there, runs out, knocks on the door _for_ me and runs back to his room, getting back inside just as the door in front of me swings open to reveal Gerard.

I freeze.

He freezes.

_Oh my God, Michael James Way, I am going to personally kill you for this._

“Hi,” he says faintly.

“Ah... hi,” I choke out.

We stand there like that for what seems forever, me cursing Mikey in my mind. Finally, Gerard shifts to the side a bit and says, “Uh... I guess you should... come in... Or whatever...”

“Oh! Ah... okay,” I say hurriedly, stepping into the room. He shuts the door behind me. 

We both hover there awkwardly for a minute, then Gerard suddenly bursts out “I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry. I was such an ass earlier, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s okay,” I manage, cutting off his blabbering. “I was being an ass too.”

“Yeah, because I was being an ass!”

“But I was being an ass because you were being an ass because I was being ass. So really, I should be the one apologizing,” I persist. He raises his eyebrows. “So... um... sorry for being such an ass...?” I cringe a bit at how stupid that sounded. Stupid, stupid, stupid. _God, Iero, pull yourself together!_

Gerard smiles. It turns into a grin. He chuckles. And then he starts laughing. Before long he’s practically collapsing on the floor, tears of mirth gathering in his eyes. I stare at him in confusion. 

“Come on, that wasn’t _that_ funny,” I protest.

He gets a hold of himself relatively quickly, considering how much he’s just been laughing. Then he looks at me with this huge fucking moronic grin on his face and says, “I love you.” 

I kind of want to squeal like some airheaded girl but instead I say, “I saw,” holding his sketchbook out.

He takes it, his pale cheeks flushing slightly pink. “Oh.”

“They- they were good. The drawings.”

“Yeah, and _creepy_ ,” he mutters.

“I didn’t think they were creepy, I thought they were awesome,” I say. “Besides, at least you were doing something productive instead of just sitting and staring like I was.”

He grins. “You were sitting and staring at me?”

Now it’s my turn to flush. “Only a little!” I say defensively. “Okay, well... not really a little... more like... a lot...” 

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m just so nice to look at,” he says sarcastically.

“Yeah, exactly.”

He opens his mouth to retort but before he can, there is a bang on the wall from next door.

“Why are you guys still chit-chatting?” Mikey yells.

“Shut up, Mikey,” Gerard yells back.

“Seriously! Will you guys please just make out already?! God!”

“Mikey, you fucker!” I shout. “Stop eavesdroppi-”

But then Gerard’s hands are on my hips and his mouth is on mine and suddenly I couldn’t care less what Mikey’s doing.

“Fucking _finally!_ ” Mikey crows.

My mind has gone totally blank so it takes a moment for a thought to form. 

_Shut up, Mikey._

As soon as I’ve thought that, my brain kicks back into gear and I realize several things. The first is that Gerard tastes like juice and it’s fucking delicious. The second is that I’m standing there like an idiot with my hands dangling at my sides, and the third is that I’m fucking short and Gerard has to bend his head down quite a bit to reach me. 

And so I go up on my tippytoes and cup his face in my hands and kiss him back.


	6. Chapter 6

For the first time in, I think, ever, I wake up in the morning on Monday excited to go to school. I mean, it’s not I’m jumping out of bed like, “Gee whiz! Miracle of miracles! It’s Monday and I have to go to school!” But I do, however, get out the door more willingly than usual. I don’t even linger over my laces the way I normally do.

I meet up with Mikey and Gerard at the entrance to the alleyway, purely by coincidence. 

No, I swear, it’s purely by coincidence. 

I can tell it’s them from a mile away and I grin, speeding up. They still haven’t noticed me by the time I catch up, so I run forwards and jump on Gerard’s back. He yelps and Mikey bursts out laughing. After a second, Gerard gives in and laughs too.

“Frankie!” he whines playfully. “Get off me!”

“But Gee, I want a piggyback ride!” I pout. “Pleeease?”

“Oh my God,” Mikey mutters under his breath.

“I can’t say hello to you properly if you’re on my goddamn back,” Gerard says. 

Mikey rolls his eyes.

“Sure you can,” I say. “Just turn your head, dumbass.”

He obliges and I lean over and give him a peck on the lips. “There. See?”

He sighs, but the corners of his mouth twitch up into a grin. “That’ll do, I suppose.”

Mikey snorts. “ _That’ll do?_ Gerard, in case you haven’t noticed, his junk is pressed against your back.”

“Shut up, Mikey,” we say in unison. 

“Jinx!” I shout gleefully. Mikey rolls his eyes again, but I can tell he’s not actually annoyed with us or anything. If he were annoyed with us he’d be ignoring us. He may be slightly exasperated by us, but he always is, so it’s okay.

“Mmm _mm_ mm mm mm,” Gerard mumbles.

“Gerard, Gerard, Gerard!” I chant, because I’m a nice boyfriend.

“Aww, thanks Frankie!” he says cheerfully. He shakes me off his back and wraps me in his arms before I can jump on again. I scowl jokingly.

“Wow, no need to look so grumpy!” he says, kissing my forehead.

Mikey groans. We both look over to see him pulling a paper bag out of his backpack.

“Whatcha got there, Mikey?” Gerard asks.

He looks up, smirking. “Barf bag.”

Gerard rolls his eyes. “ _Really?_ ”

I stick my tongue out at Mikey and his smirk widens. “But come to think of it, I don’t think I’ll need it right now. You guys gotta stop being all cutesy for a while. We’re probably going to run into Ray and you don’t want the plan to be ruined, do you?”

*

As it turns out, we do run into Ray, so Gerard and I have to go the rest of the way to school pretending to be incredibly pissed off at each other. It’s rather difficult, but we pull it off.

We get to school and split up like we always do, although Ray gives me and Gerard some concerned looks, whispering to Mikey, “I dunno, if we leave them alone, they might kill each other.”

“Nah, they’ll be fine,” he says back, leading Ray down the hall to their lockers.

“Thank _fuck,_ ” Gerard says as soon as Ray is out of earshot. He grins. “If I’d had to keep my hands off you for _one more minute_ -”

“All hell would’ve broken loose?”

“Quite possibly.” He blinks innocently and I laugh, taking his hand and starting down the hallway. We get a few strange looks, but I don’t care. It doesn’t seem like Gerard does either, but then a worried look comes across his face; he stops walking and says, “Frank? Zach’s probably around here somewhere. Maybe we shouldn’t be...” He gestures towards our intertwined fingers.

“Are you kidding?” I exclaim cheerfully. “I’m going to slap him in the face with this!”

He hesitates, but then laughs. “If you’re sure...”

“I’m positive.”

Of course, speak of the devil and the devil shall appear. We turn the corner and there’s Zach, lounging against one of the lockers down the hall. He smirks evilly when he sees me. However, the smirk slowly starts to slide off his face when he sees Gerard, then it disappears altogether when he sees our hands.

“Hey asshole!” I shout at him. “Thanks for setting me up!”

“What the fuck?” he asks, trying to regain some composure and hitch the smirk back on. He kind of has this _please-don’t-let-this-be-what-I-think-it-is_ look on his face.

I roll my eyes at him and kiss Gerard. _Oh yeah. It’s exactly what you think it is._

When I pull away, Zach’s gobsmacked expression almost makes me burst out laughing. He actually looks like he’s just been slapped around the face. When I think about it, I realize that he looks similar to the way he did when I punched him on Friday. 

But then I look at Gerard and frown. He’s staring at Zach with a somewhat murderous look on his face. Before I have a chance to react or stop him, he storms over to Zach.

“Listen up, fuckhead,” he says in a low, dangerous voice. “You touch him again and I will personally beat the living shit out of you, understand?”

Zach, to my surprise, looks terrified. He nods quickly. Gerard gives him one last glare and stalks back to me.

I’m at a total loss for words.

“Uh... that was pretty impressive,” I eventually come up with. He relaxes and smiles.

“Yes, I thought so too,” he says, taking my hand again. “I mean, I know you can handle yourself, but...”

“You’re an overprotective idiot?”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding! Besides, I’m an overprotective idiot too,” I smile.

We put our stuff in our lockers and split up to go to class.

*

“Okay, so you know the plan, right?” Mikey whispers to me outside the doors to the cafeteria.

“Yup,” I whisper back. “Don’t worry, I got this.”

We push the door open and walk over to our table. Gerard looks up first and I sneak a wink at him. He manages to sneak a wink back before Ray looks up. We both immediately scowl at each other and he sighs.

“Here we go,” he mutters.

Mikey snags the seat next to Ray, forcing me to sit next to Gerard. In reality, I have no problem with this, but, in accordance with the plan, I give Mikey a death glare and throw myself into the chair.

Fifteen minutes go by with Gerard and me pretending to be really pissed off at each other, and I’m starting to worry that Ray’s not going to say anything. But finally, after Gerard glares particularly angrily at me, he bursts out, “Oh my God, can you guys _please_ just... kiss and make up already?”

I restrain a laugh because he could not have chosen a better expression. 

Gerard turns and glares at me. I glare at him. Then, without changing facial expression, he shifts his chair over, wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me. I respond enthusiastically because I’ve been waiting to do this for hours. However, we’re careful to keep it short, because we don’t want to scar Ray too much. 

When we let go of each other, we go right back to glaring.

Ray’s eyes are very, very wide.

“What the fuck just happened?” he asks shakily.

That does it. Gerard, Mikey and I all burst out laughing, adding to Ray’s confusion.

“The... look... on... your... face!” Gerard chokes out.

“You fell for it! You totally fell for it! You _actually thought we were mad at each other!_ ” I exclaim, slumping over the table with laughter.

“You... you mean you’re not?”

Poor Ray. He’s totally bewildered.

Mikey pats him on the back. “They sorted it all out on Friday. I’ve been putting up with that shit for the past two days. Minus the glaring.”

A look of understanding comes over his face. “You evil motherfuckers! You tricked me!”

“That we did,” Gerard says smugly.

“Mostly worth the sacrifice,” I say, and Gerard nods in agreement.

Ray starts to look amused. “That was actually pretty funny,” he admits. “Could have chosen a better place to do that...”

I’m confused by this. It looks like Gerard is too. But Mikey looks a bit alarmed.

“Shit!” he exclaims. “I didn’t even think of that!”

“Of what?” I ask.

“Zach! He’s probably around here somewhere and he probably saw that! He’s gonna give you shit!”

“No, he’s not,” Gerard says confidently.

“Why not?”

“He’s scared shitless of me, that’s why.”

Mikey stares at him. “Did I miss something?”

Laughing, we relate the story of what had happened earlier to a stunned Ray and Mikey.

“...You should’ve seen his face!” I conclude. “He was practically shitting himself!”

“Wait, let me get this straight,” Ray says. “Within the last week, you two have managed to fight, make up, bare your souls to each other, get together and stop Zach from beating the shit out of Frank?”

“Mikey helped,” I admit.

“Of course I did. I was sick of hearing their bitching. One would always be going on at me about how the other didn’t like them; it was making me fucking crazy.”

“Shut up, Mikey,” says Gerard affectionately.

“So are you guys done pretending to be mad at each other now?” Ray asks hopefully. “Because it was driving me insane.”

“Yeah,” Gerard says, smiling and grabbing my hand. “It was driving me insane too.”

“Just don’t go to the other extreme,” Mikey says.

“What?”

“I think Mikey’s asking you to keep the Public Displays of Affection to a minimum,” Ray smirks.

Gerard sighs. “Do we have to?” he whines.

Mikey rolls his eyes. “Ray and I would rather appreciate it if you’d at least hold off on making out in front of us.”

He pouts. “Fine. God.”

“Fine, I guess I can do that,” I reluctantly agree.

Mikey snorts. “No you can’t. You can barely keep your hands off him for fifteen minutes.”

He has a point.

“Shut up, Mikey.”

*

“What the fuck is this movie even about?”

“I have noooo idea,” Gerard says, giggling and glancing over the top of my head at the rom-com playing on the TV. It had been tuned to this channel when we turned it on and neither of us had been bothered to change it, not even when Gerard’s mom had come in and smiled at the sight of me curled up against his chest before looking at the TV, bursting out laughing and saying, “What are you guys _watching_?”

I watch the screen for a minute and smirk. “From what I’m gathering, it’s about these friends who like each other but they’re both convinced that the other doesn’t like them and they don’t want to mess up the friendship.”

Gerard smirks too. “Dumb fucks. They need to man the hell up.”

“I know, right?” I shift around in his lap to face him.

“Which makes us dumb fucks, too.”

“ _Former_ dumb fucks,” I correct him, leaning my forehead against his. 

He chuckles, wrapping his arms tighter around my waist. “Good thing we wised up.”

“Yeah. If we hadn’t, I would be one miserable little motherfucker.”

“But instead, you’re _my_ little motherfucker,” Gerard says seriously.

I roll my eyes. “God, Gee, that is so cheesy.”

“You know you love me.”

“That I do,” I say, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

He grins. “I love you, too.”

I sigh contentedly. This is perfect.

“Oh, well isn’t this just fucking adorable,” comes a familiar semi-sarcastic voice from the doorway. “Where the hell did I put my barf bag?”

I snuggle closer to Gerard, still smiling happily. 

“Shut up, Mikey.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Copying this over from Livejournal and Ficwad. Fun fact: this was the first My Chem fanfic I ever wrote.  
> Let me know what you think! :)  
> ~StormVandal


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